Type.
Ponder.
Delete.
Type.
Ponder.
Ponder.
Walk Away.
That is what has happened every time I attempt to write. Nothing seems right.
I don't know whether to write happy things, benign things, daily musings, or the wishes of my heart.
A week ago Mike and I stood in our kitchen and prayed to start off our day. He prayed that we would be able to find a way to expand our little family. Adoption popped into my head.
Right now I am ready to walk away from the computer.
We have been playing with this idea for over a year now.
Right not I want to delete this post. Again.
But I tell myself that I am happy just the way things are. That we cannot simply handle anymore. That we are making headway financially. That I don't have time.
Pondering.
I am selfish.
2 comments:
Oh bean. I sure do miss you and you can type whatever you feel. This blog is your blog. Don't feel like you have to impress your readers. :) I sure do love you!
I know the feeling. To post or not to post. You will know when the time is right, if it is right, to expand your family. Your heart will just KNOW. Do not worry or stress out over your supposed selfishness. You are not selfish for wanting to enjoy this time. Just trust that you know what is best for you, now. And it will all be okay. And post what you feel like posting. :)
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