Life Requires Faith

Mike:

Life tries our patience..
Life tries our understanding..
Life tries our strength..

But every one of life's trials has a purpose, and it is not to bring us down.. Life gives us opposition to strengthen our faith in God..

It was two weeks ago when Kendra called to tell me the good news that we were pregnant.. I was excited to say the least.. I tried to imagine what our child would look like.. I pictured a tall / lanky, red-headed, freckled, blue eyed boy, and realized that it was simply one of the many potential genetic combos.. I didn't sleep much that night, I was too excited.. But what horrible timing to find out.. I was in Spokane installing satellite dishes and planned to stay for the next 2 weeks.. I worked my ways, and I got out early and came home as soon as I could to greet my pregnant wife, who was a bit understandably nervous.. She was thrilled to have me home and we started planning for the baby.. we lined up the appropriate insurance, started healthier eating / sleeping habits, and started reading baby books..

But it was not to be..

Kendra started having cramp-like pains at 3 pm on monday.. after a chat with our Dr, he recommended that we go to the ER for an ultrasound.. That which we feared became our reality.. It was the start of a miscarriage..

It was sad, to say the least.. Right after the idea of being pregnant had sunk in, our baby was taken back.. It simply was not our time to have Baby Taylor join us.. but knowing that did not make it any easier to deal with.. Kendra and I took a couple days off from work / school and just spent time together.. We did our best to keep our composure.. Kendra was in physical pain from the cramps and the Lortabs caused her to be nauseas in addition to the sadness of losing our baby.. We cuddled up on the couch for hours and just held each other, talking about our upcoming adventures in California and beyond..

I tried to be strong for my wife.. The last thing she needed was for me to lose my composure and despair.. I reassured her that things would work out.. Kendra took a nap, so I went out for groceries.. then it hit me.. I felt completely overwhelmed.. I felt alone.. It was as if all the sadness was built up, then it struck me all at once.. All the stress built up from my employer shutting down, the kidney stone episode, and the miscarriage unloaded its heavy burden.. As I drove down the road, I thought to myself.. 'I cannot keep this up.. There is no way that I can handle this on my own..' I was on the brink of a meltdown..

Then I remembered the most basic of church lessons..

There is a God, and He is in control..

I reminded myself that God knows what he is doing.. I made a conscious decision to put my faith in God and his plan that he has for me.. I reminded myself that He is running the show, that He knows our trials, and He wants to help us overcome every obstacle that tries us..

And just like that, it felt like the storm passed.. I felt comforted that things would work out in our favor.. I felt a boost of confidence in Kendra's and my future together.. The difference between the two emotional states hit both extremes of the Faith / Fear spectrum..

It is amazing how applying simple truths can turn the tide against overwhelming opposition..

This life is one big learning process.. If we had all the answers and up front and understood everything, then there would be no reason to be here..

The growing / learning process is interesting.. Life's challenges and obstacles always seem to be increasing in difficulty in PERFECT rhythm with our progress.. As soon as we learn to handle one challenge, the next obstacle is already there waiting for us to grow from the previous one..

I am astonished by way we approach obstacles from the two opposing perspectives.. From the perspective where I tried to handle the trials by myself, it really felt like THEY NEVER STOPPED COMING.. It was only a matter of time before I felt overwhelmed and lost confidence that I could make it against such odds..

From the other perspective, when I exercised faith in our loving God, my trials became manageable.. It was only after I reminded myself that He is willing to invest in my success that I felt like I could overcome any opposition.. I simply had to ask..

Life is good, and we keep moving forward.. Kendra and I have big plans together, and God willing we will be parents in the near future..

Ta-Ta for now :)